To Say Goodbye
by needysaurusrex
Summary: For now, Puck would keep his experience with Quinn's spirit to himself. He was still wondering if he hadn't imagined all of that, but even if he had at least he got to say goodbye. WARNING: CHARACTER SUICIDE. QUICK WITH MENTIONS OF FINCHEL


**This was meant to be a part of ****_Goodbye, Quinn_ but I have since abandoned the story but I already had this written and I recently found it again. So I'm posting it. Major warnings: Character death.**

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"Just give me a minute." Puck said to Finn, looking over at Quinn's body in the casket. Finn nodded and clasped his hand over his friends arm before walking out with Rachel. Puck turned towards the casket and stepped close to it. Quinn didn't look dead. She just looked like she was sleeping. She looked peaceful, almost happy. "Oh Quinn." He whispered, reaching forward and taking her hand. She was cold, like she'd been out in the snow too long. Puck shut his eyes, remembering when he made her dance in the snow with him. She'd gotten so mad at him. But to Puck, it was completely worth her hand, Puck could feel the cuts on her arm. It was unnerving, sickening knowing that she could do that to her perfect skin. His stomach churned feeling the marks against his own wrist, but he kept holding her hand. Puck wished ha had noticed all the signs earlier, noticed something. Maybe, just maybe he could have said something, done something to stop her. "Qunnie, why?" Puck asked, tears forming in his eyes. He laid his head on her cold neck, a sob shaking through his body. "Come back to me, Quinnie." He begged. "Please." Puck sobbed against the coffin for a few moments before he stood up. With his sleeve, he wiped off his tears from her body. Not that it matter, it just felt wrong to leave his tears there. Make up smeared on his jacket, making the ligature mark obvious. Puck gasped and stepped away from the casket. He held his hand over his art, a sob rocking his body.

"Puck?" Quinn's ghost called out to him, standing a few feet behind him. Puck frowned, his head turning towards the voice. He jumped when he saw Quinn's figure, then looked at the casket. He looked back at Quinn, who had a light glow around her. She looked peaceful though sad. There were no marks on her arms or her neck. It was like she was alive, but Puck knew she wasn't.

"Q-Quinn?" He asked. "But you're… You're…"

"Dead… I know." Quinn said, stepping towards him. She looked over at her casket, sighing.

"How…" He asked as she walked over to the casket.

"I guess I have some unfinished business here." She whispered, looking down at herself.

"Can't you just… climb back in to your body?" He asked. "And be alive again?" Quinn laughed lightly.

"I wish it worked like that, Puck." She whispered and looked at him. "But it doesn't."

"We need you back, Quinn." Puck whispered.

"I know…" Quinn said softly, looking away from him. "Its too late." She said. "You're the only one who can hear me… Or see me…" She said. Her voice broke, but she couldn't cry. "I've tried to contact everyone else but... Only you.."

"Why?" Puck asked. He kept his distance from the spirit, though he was sure he was just seeing what he wanted to see.

"I think you miss me the most." Quinn said. Puck shut his eyes, trying to force the tears back.

"What makes you think that?" Puck asked. When he opened his eyes, Quinn was right in front of him. He jumped in his shoes, but didn't jump back from her.

"Because Noah Puckerman doesn't cry… Unless he's been kicked in the balls… And Noah Puckerman doesn't beg… Unless it's for sex." Quinn quoted him from years ago. Puck laughed lightly, shaking his head.

"I can't believe you remember that."

"It was one of the first things you said to me, how could I forget?" Quinn asked, smiling. Puck looked at her spirit, feeling sick. He felt like he was going to vomit but he knew it wouldn't happen. He hadn't eaten anything in days, he couldn't eat. Puck couldn't do anything. He couldn't eat, he could barely sleep. All he could do was think about Quinn and cry over it.

"You still look beautiful." He said. He reached out and tried to touch her, but his hand went through her completely. "I like to pretend that you aren't dead…" He whispered as he pulled his hand back to him. "That you're gonna call me and tell me you faked it."

"

I'm sorry that'll never come true…" He felt a coldness on his cheek, and opened his eyes. Her spirit was touching his face, but he could only feel the coldness. "I really am."

"Why Quinn?" He whispered. "Why did you do it?"

"What does it matter? I'm dead, it can't be changed." Quinn said. "But I'm happier now." Puck shook his head.

"How can you be happy when you're dead?" He asked.

"Do you remember how your mom had her near death experience? And we'd just laugh at her and call her crazy?" Quinn asked. Puck nodded. "She'd talk about the warmth… and that light with the door… And how someone was waiting for her?"

"Yeah.. Her dad." He whispered.

"It happened to me…" Quinn said. "It was so warm and inviting… And my Grandmother was waiting for me… But I couldn't go through the door…"

"Why?" Puck asked.

"I don't know… I can't cross over yet… I imagine its because I have unfinished business… To say goodbye…" Her ghost had tears in her eyes, but the tears wouldn't come out. "I loved you, Puck." She admitted. Her voice was breaking and Puck could tell that if she could, she would be crying. "I loved you so much."

"I loved you too." He said. "I wish I had told you that earlier."

"I wish you had too." Quinn said.

"Quinn—" He whispered, pointing behind her. She turned around and saw a door with a bright glow around.

"You can see that too?" Quinn asked. He nodded, covering his mouth. "I don't know if they'll believe you, but… Tell everyone I'm sorry." The tears had finally started to fall from her eyes. Quinn had started to look more human at this moment. "I never meant to cause so much pain… When I was alive and now…" Puck choked on his own tears. "Especially Rachel… And Finn…" Quinn was sobbing.

"I will." Puck sobbed, blubbering like a baby.

"Be in Beth's life. For me. Let her know that I loved her." Quinn sobbed. Puck nodded again, unable to speak, his eyes shut. On impulse just to see if she could do it, Quinn's spirit pressed her lips to Pucks. Shockingly to Puck, he could feel them. They felt just like Quinn's lips when she was alive, even tasted just like them. When Puck opened his eyes, Quinn was at the door, her hand on the door knob. "Goodbye, Puck." She whispered, stepping through the door and shutting it. The door disappeared and Puck sat on one of the chairs, trying to regain was more than a half hour later before Puck stopped crying. His face was bright red from crying. He looked around the room, and towards Quinn's casket. He stood and walked over to it, looking down at her body. It looked more like she was smiling now. Puck kissed her forehead and walked over to the door. He opened and stood there for a moment, holding he door.

"Goodbye, Quinn." He whispered, stepping through the door and shutting joined Rachel and Finn in Finn's car outside of the funeral home. He'd tell them what happened later, after they got something to eat. For now, Puck would keep his experience with Quinn's spirit to himself. He was still wondering if he hadn't imagined all of that, but even if he had at least he got to say goodbye.


End file.
